miguel.

when i was about nine years old i started having ocpd tendencies about things i ate. no one could bite into something i was gonna eat. if my food had colors i had to have one of every color. if it spelled something i had to eat the whole thing else i felt incomplete.

such was the case with toblerone. as you know toblerones spell out the brand over as many pieces of chocolate plus an end piece.

my cousin decided to help herself while i was eating my toblerone (“didn’t anyone ever tell you to share?” she said) and a fire rose up from within me that as she was eating MY CHOCOLATE i started to rip the hair out of her head.

she started screaming and screaming until my uncle rushed up and got us away from one another. i explained what happened, fuming, and feeling horribly incomplete.

my uncle berated my cousin for not asking and after that she was a little afraid of me.

about fifteen years later i saw her again and she tried to pull the same shit with my m&m’s. i pulled her hair as a precautionary measure.

LEARN YOUR LESSON BITCH OR I WILL TEACH IT.

pic unrelated.